Anacreontic Verse for the Acephali

Ralphie lost his head again beneath the window-sill
Stan’s torso’s bucking Sharon while his lips are kissing Jill
Amy’s face is in the toilet, racking out dry heaves
But her body’s in the back yard, passed out beneath some leaves
Both Larry’s head and tail end are paired with Siamese twins
Pickled in hard liquor and engaged in novel sins
Heads are perched upon shoulders onto which they were not born
There’s a stripper in the kitchen and the tellie’s showing porn
The floor is full of bottles, the sinks are filled with cans
It seems every place I look is fault of alcohol and glands
Nowhere in this revelry remains an ounce of class
Now, I’m not the type to disapprove but could you help me find my ass?

Acephali: A race of people without heads or who carry them under their arms. Once they were normally attached but at some point, the Acephali rebelled against the gods and were decapitated. This did not kill them but taught them a degree of humility. Eventually in folklore they evolved into a headless evil spirit known as Phonos.

The Chinese spoke of Hsing-t’sien who rebelled against the gods and was likewise decapitated. It grew eyes in its chest and a mouth from its belly-button and remains a formidible foe, wielding an axe and shield.

Anacreontic Verse: a lyric poem that praises indulgence, typically wine, women and song. A textbook example being Robert Herrick’s “Anacrontick Verse.” The form was named after Anacreon, a sixth century Greek poet, who wrote such poetry in trochaic tetrameter and died choking on a grape pit. Anacreon’s verses were far more refined than my example but he, as an Ionian Greek, secularized religion and culture in a manner than other Greeks of his era found just as shocking.


  1. […] Anacreontic Verse for the Acephali […]

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