Posted by: Mark | April 9, 2017

Resolution Update 14

I’m hoping this will be the last bad week. Well, what else would I hope?

1. Run 730 miles – No change–60 miles.

2. 5,000 push ups and 8,000 leg lifts – no change–490 push ups and 450 leg lifts.

3. Lose 26 pounds – No weigh in again.

4. Support 24 local artists – now 14 weeks of nothing.

5. 42 manuscript submissions – Up to 12 submissions.

6. Write 40,000 words and five new stories – 13,188 words and two completed stories.

7. Read all the New Testament – Up to Chapter 13 of the Gospel of John.

8. Read The Nature of Things – haven’t started.

9. Finish Finnegan’s Wake – No change-On page 349 with 191 to go.

10. 300 blog posts – this makes 57.

Posted by: Mark | April 5, 2017

TV: the Book: Part X

The end of the list:

91. Sports Night: Never watched it.

92. Star Trek:  Deep Space Nine:  Over Next Generation?

I’ve watched every episode of the original Star Trek, The Animated Series, and Next Generation but missed whole seasons of Deep Space Nine, Voyager, and Enterprise. I would put Next Generation over Deep Space Nine but objectively, the first two seasons are unwatchable to anyone but my son who goes through hellish marathons with them.

I guess I’ll concede this one.

93. Batman: The Animated Series: I think this gets credit for other series set in the DC Animated Universe (Batman shows up in Superman, Batman Beyond and Justice League). The animation had a number of glitches compared to the later shows but overall it probably was the most solid.

94. Boardwalk Empire: The first couple seasons were fantastic but it seemed to burn itself out. Like Game of Thrones, it wasn’t afraid to kill major characters but unlike Game of Thrones, it didn’t replace the characters with others as interesting. By the end, it seemed thin.

95. NewsRadio: I watched pretty consistently until Phil Hartman was murdered. It wasn’t the show’s fault but it was never the same.

96. Picket Fences: I never really got into it.

97. Scrubs: I’ve seen memes based on the show but never an actual episode.

98. WKRP in Cincinnati: I might have seen every episode. The Thanksgiving episode was one of the best sitcom moments of all time.

99. How I Met Your Mother: The last series on the list that I never watched.

100. Terriers: Sometimes I wonder why I check out lists like this. I’m reminded when I find something I like that I might never have known about without the list.

I’d never heard of Terriers but saw it was on Netflix. I’ve only seen three episodes but I’ve liked them a lot.

Posted by: Mark | April 3, 2017

TV: The Book : Part IX

Second to last:

81. The Outer Limits: I’ve seen every episode of The Twilight Zone but only a handful of these. I have a bunch on DVD that I haven’t seen yet.

82. Northern Exposure: I saw a few but never was a big fan.

83. Batman: I think I’ve seen every episode. Good references in The Lego Batman Movie.

84. King of the Hill: I watched the first season but only sporadically after that.

85. Veronica Mars: Never watched it.

86. Cagney and Lacey: Never watched it.

87. EZ Streets: Never heard of it.

88. Wiseguy: Never heard of it either.

89. Gilmore Girls:  Never saw it but I have heard of it.

90. Six Feet Under:  I started watching and thought it was a great show but couldn’t take the character Billy.

Posted by: Mark | April 2, 2017

TV: the Book : Part VIII

Approaching the end of this list

71. China Beach: I saw a few episodes but it wasn’t during a prime television-watching period of my life.

72. Enlightened: I had never heard of this show before but, since reading about it, have noticed it on a “Worst HBO Series” list.

73. Everyone Loves Raymond: I agreed or at least respected most of the author’s choices but I can’t see how this made the cut.

74. The Wonder Years:  I remember everyone watching the pilot episode and then gradually losing interest.

75. Barney Miller: This show is like Full Metal Jacket, not at all with tone, but in that like Marines say that was the only movie to get things right, cops used to say the same about Barney Miller. I have seen all or almost every episode. I can’t say how accurate it was but I liked it.

76. Frank’s Place: I’ve heard this was good but never saw it.

77. Justified: My wife watched an episode without me and didn’t like it. Consequently, I never saw it.

78. thirtysomething: I read the Mad Magazine parody but never saw an episode.

79. Columbo: I watched enough to automatically associate Peter Falk with it. Maybe I’ll check it out again.

80. Futurama: It had its flaws but this is my favorite show.  I’ve seen all the episodes and movies. It was as funny as The Simpsons but The Simpsons never hit the sadness of “Jurassic Bark. “

Posted by: Mark | April 2, 2017

Would a Zombie’s Penis Fall Off?

The Zombie Research Society addressed one of the vital questions that keeps us all up at night.

A factor they didn’t consider is the effect of the zombie wearing pants. Exposed, it might be the target of vultures or raccoons, but in pants, bacteria and maggots might be worse.

This might be why most zombie porn features female zombies.

Posted by: Mark | April 1, 2017

Resolution Update 13

Monday was my birthday and my knees and back felt okay. The next morning my back was so bad I could barely get out of bed. If my insurance wasn’t garbage, I’d go to the doctor:

1. Run 730 miles – Barely walked–stuck on 60 miles.

2. 5,000 push ups and 8,000 leg lifts – no change–490 push ups and 450 leg lifts.

3. Lose 26 pounds – No weigh in.

4. Support 24 local artists – now 13 weeks of nothing.

5. 42 manuscript submissions – still only ten submissions.

6. Write 40,000 words and five new stories – 13,111 words and two completed stories. Doing okay here.

7. Read all the New Testament – Up to the Gospel of John.

8. Read The Nature of Things – haven’t started.

9. Finish Finnegan’s Wake – No change-On page 349 with 191 to go.

10. 300 blog posts – this is 52.

Posted by: Mark | March 28, 2017

Empty Feeling

I had to clean 92 Betta cups today and 13 tanks of rocks and plants. Goldfish are still eating each other no matter how clean or how well-fed they may be.

Posted by: Mark | March 26, 2017

TV: the Book: Part VII

61. Police Squad!: I didn’t see any until The Naked Gun movie came out and Comedy Central ran all six episodes nonstop. It worked better as a movie but still good tv.

62. 24:  Couldn’t avoid the hype or jokes about mountain lions and not going to the bathroom but never saw an episode.

63. The Defenders: I hadn’t heard of it before reading the book.

64. Gunsmoke:  I’ve seen a few episodes but never was a big fan.

65. Sex and the City: Again, couldn’t avoid the hype but never saw an episode.

66. Star Trek: One of the first shows that I  saw every episode of. Somehow Next Generation didn’t make the list. I like the original series but the third season was pretty awful.

67. Firefly:  I know a lot of fans are crying that it’s lower than Star Trek but from some of the unmade scripts, if Fox hadn’t cancelled it, the quality would have tanked. Still, even the worst script proposal for Firefly was better than “Spock’s Brain. ”

68. Law & Order:  I might have clicked through an episode while switching channels but never watched a full episode.

69. Maude: Just not the right age. It was cancelled before I watched grown up television and I never saw it on re-runs.

70. The Rockford Files:  Thanks to Netflix I’ve seen every episode. My memory of the show was better than the actual thing. I remembered long, multi-episode story-lines, interconnected character arcs, and guest stars reprising roles over several seasons.

It did have a lot of that but not nearly as much as I remembered (still it was far better than most 70s and 80s shows).

I did like it but there were more car chases than anyone could want.

David Chase wrote and directed many episodes. They clearly connected with his Sopranos: A mobster was set up for a hit because he was gay and another was almost killed for seeing a psychologist.

There are a few Rockford tv movies from the 80s that I haven’t seen but I’m glad I’ve caught all the regular tv shows.

Posted by: Mark | March 25, 2017

Resolution Update 12

Sinus and bronchial infections with bad knees, back,feet, and elbows. It’s been worse:

1. Run 730 miles – Nothing this week, 60 miles in all.

2. 5,000 push ups and 8,000 leg lifts – barely anything–490 push ups and 450 leg lifts.

3. Lose 26 pounds – No weigh in but probably bad.

4. Support 24 local artists – now 12 weeks of nothing.

5. 42 manuscript submissions – still ten submissions.

6. Write 40,000 words and five new stories – 12,867 words and two completed stories.

7. Read all the New Testament – Still on Luke chapter 1.

8. Read The Nature of Things – haven’t started.

9. Finish Finnegan’s Wake – On page 349 with 191 to go.

10. 300 blog posts – this is 49.

Posted by: Mark | March 24, 2017

TV:The Book: Part VI

51. Roseanne: Never a huge fan. Sadly, I started watching on the final season which everyone agrees was the weakest.

52. 30 Rock: I’ve seen every episode until the middle of the fifth season. On and off since then. Definitely one of the best comedies.

53. The Bob Newhart Show:  This was one of the shows my parents always watched that I liked too. I didn’t care much for his next sitcom (except the ending ). Otherwise Newhart is funny in everything.

54. Malcolm in the Middle: Every episode up to the middle of the seventh (and last) season. I’ll probably catch up soon. Bryan Cranston was as good in this as Breaking Bad but never got credit he deserved.

55. Miami Vice: I remember a few episodes from high school. Mainly about not wearing socks.

56. The Office: Every episode until the middle of the eighth season. I did see the last couple. It probably should have ended with season seven but it had plenty of good moments.

57. St. Elsewhere: I don’t think I’ve seen an episode.

58. Community: If the show ended in the third season, I would have said it was the best show ever. Season four was weaker and I remember being excited for the return of Dan Harmon for season five.

Only season five was weaker than four and six was weakest of all. What killed me on season six was the constant bashing other shows and movies, especially the fourth season.

Back in 2000 Winona Ryder was in a horror movie called Lost Souls. It wasn’t very good but its advertisement sank it by claiming it was better than The Exorcist. It wasn’t and shouldn’t have reminded the audience that The Exorcist existed.

When Jeff Winger knocked Marvel movies for being boring, I couldn’t help thinking that maybe they should have saved that line for a better episode.

59. The Golden Girls:  I’ve seen memes based on the show that were very funny but once again I don’t think I’ve watched an episode.

60. Friends: I was the one guy my age who didn’t watch this show. I saw a few episodes and one had the paleontologist giving up an argument about evolution against some new age bullshit. Even without that stupid episode I wouldn’t have liked the show. Now I can conflate into some intellectual conflict.

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