Posted by: Mark | July 4, 2014

Please Don’t Pick Up The Sharks

Back in 1990 I worked at the zoo. Just before I started, a keeper had her arm eaten by a polar bear after she tried to feed it a grape. You’d think that would keep people from messing with the animals but there were plenty of idiots who still wanted to pet the crocodiles.

Things haven’t changed much. My niece is now working at the Newport Aquarium and an individual was upset because his son was too small to reach in the shark tank to pet the sharks. (Unlike the crocodiles at the zoo, the aquarium has a tank for visitors to pet relatively harmless sharks. Keyword being relatively.)

The guy could have lifted up his son so he could pet a shark. Or he could have thrown his son in with the sharks. Instead he did something dumber.

He grabbed a shark as it was swimming, pulled it out of the water, and held it out for his son to pet. This sounds kind of cool but these sharks are only about the size of a medium sized dog. Imagine grabbing a basset hound and holding it under water.

Father of the year seemed shocked when he was escorted out of the building.

You know one of the points of Jaws was that sharks make you afraid to go into the water. Because sharks don’t come out of the water. Or they die.

I didn’t think the public needed to be reminded about this but apparently I was wrong.



  1. I wonder how often that happens at the aquarium. I love it when people bitch about the lorikeets pooping on them.

  2. You’d think the aquarium would be safer for the animals than the zoo. At least in the aquarium usually the animals have glass between them and the stupid.

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