Freshman Senator Ralph Shortey thinks this is a damn important law to pass even though it’s never actually happened.

Laws against corporations using spoiled meat:  Republicans decry as strangling business.

Laws preventing workers losing body parts in machines which are mixed into food and sold for profit:  Republicans label as socialist.

Laws about imaginary situations unrelated to reality: Republicans want a fast track.

[I apologize for the political vent of this normally apolitical blog but I lost a big chunk of my finger when I worked in the Kroger deli which was later sold as corned beef. Notions of morality aside, my flesh is okay to eat but I wouldn't say the same about the meth- and crack-heads who worked there.]

Millipedes on Moss

These are the baby millipedes that I first saw a year ago.  They’re about halfway to their adult size. There’s plenty more of them but not nearly as many as the hissing cockroaches.

Roach on Skull

1. Blog stuff:  21 posts in 25 days–slower than last week but not a problem. 61 comments about eight short of goal. 

2. Writing stuff: Six submissions. A little better than what I need. Two already rejected.

3. Religious stuff: On Chapter 14 of the Gospel of John.  John is the most uneven of the Gospels. If I’d been Biblical editor, I think I’d started with it and reverse Matthew and Luke so the order would go John, Luke, Mark, and Matthew. If anyone gets sucked through a vortex in time to the Second Century, follow up on that for me.

4. Healthy stuff: Nothing week 1, a partial mile for week 2 and a full mile week 3. If things continue at this rate, I’ll be running double marathons by April.

5. Video stuff: Nothing.

6. Poem: Taking more of a philosophical interpretation than personal. It makes a lot more sense.

I bought it shortly after it came out. It was one of the year’s best sellers but, according to WLW, was the number one title in books returned for store credit (unable to find proof of that). The saleswoman gave me a disgusted snort when I paid for it. You’d think with people buying Penthouse and Atlas Shrugged, she would keep her opinions to herself but she must have had a thing for Newt.

It’s hard to separate the book from the author (actually co-author). It’s deeply researched but terribly written. You’d think Newt would be able to describe a love scene but women are presented like aliens, as if the book had been written by a 15-year-old boy who lived with his father in a lighthouse and only saw glimpses of females through a telescope.

What killed Newt’s chances of having the book taken seriously is that Robert Harris’ Fatherland came out about the same time. I wasn’t as wild about Fatherland as many reviewers but it was superior to 1945 in just about every way. The action of 1945 is stronger and the setting is the U.S. (if that’s a draw for you) but that’s about all you say for it. Harris’ characters run towards stereotypes but even the worst of them is better than anything Newt can muster up. Harris’ research probably wasn’t that much better than Newt’s but it’s focused while Newt’s is much broader. Harris comes across as far more credible. The dialogue, especially with women, isn’t a contest. Harris might not be a literary master of dialogue but he comes out that way in comparison.

Overall my verdict on 1945 is the same as voting for Newtie–a few shiny points but I’d recommend against it.

Long answer by Cecil Adams. I’m glad Cecil was skeptical enough to doubt the study that claimed Mississippi’s average IQ was 63 but I’m not convinced of his results either. If 100 is the average IQ, how can everyone be below it (it seems that way with the people I meet but the math doesn’t work out)? Unless 100 is the median or people outside of the U.S. are statistically smarter (despite the finding that Europeans are just as dumb as Americans), I’m not putting too much faith in it.

Although considering the front-running Republicans, maybe they are dumber. I thought they had the 2012 election in the bag if they could find a candidate who could tie his shoes but that must have been harder than anticipated.

No one tonight had heard of Pink Flamingos or knew the original meaning of geek. I hope my retirement home doesn’t serve rats like the one on 60 Minutes.

Naturally I’m too ancient to know the song that this parody video is based on but it features Batman and Catwoman doing goofy dances. I liked it better with the sound on mute.

I read a lot of Harlan Ellison’s stuff back in the day which included reflections of his experiences when he ran away from home and briefly joined a circus. Seeing the reality of the circus and the geek’s life made him swear off alcohol for life.

Maybe reading Ellison is what made me depraved in the first place.

The craziest thing I’ve done? I’ve been on the bottom. You know, that’s it.
Larry David

Although I am a paid writer of robot porn, it really doesn’t do much for me. It’s nothing moral, I’m just not just not mechanically inclined.

When I saw this on the Documentary Blog, I sent it over Topless Robot and got much thanks for the tip. A few months ago, I got honorable mention in a Topless Robot contest so I figure the next step is to have my brain implanted in a real topless robot and begin making robot porn on my own. Wouldn’t that be irony in the fullest sense of the word?

Actually, no it wouldn’t.